1. |
A Date At The Zoo
01:27
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Gotta get ready
Dress to impress
Put on my cologne
Pre-stretch my asshole
Jump into the gorilla pen
and beat my chest with my fists
Gorilla pulls down my pants
and beats my ass with it's fist
Giraffes have long necks
But I only have a short cock
It'll have to use its tongue
on my dick nipple
The king of the jungle
Will make me it's queen
Lions eat meat
and I'm a prime rib
My body hurts
because of the elephant
I got turned into a puppet
and his trunk made me spunk
I'll never forget this date
It was love at first sight
I even got a souvenir
Aids
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2. |
Raping The Bartender
02:03
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We were at a concert
Cannibal Corpse
We were at the bar
Doing shots
I looked over at the bartender
He was fat and bald
He had a little hat on
What a fucking Faggot
Me and my boy
We decided to rape him
I announced it loudly
and he looked scared
The look in his eyes
was saying "not me"
We looked back at him
and laughed at his face
We jumped behind the bar
Stuck a bottle up his ass
He started to scream
But no one cared
Ripped out the bottle,
his asshole agape
There was enough room
for two cocks at once
So we shoved two cocks in him
Followed by a fist
Followed by another fist
Followed by a foot
We raped the bartender
He should not have come to work
He quit his job
It fuckin serves him right
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3. |
Straight Shafted
00:41
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I've never had a cock in my ass
I've never had a cock in my mouth
I've never had a cock anywhere
Except for my pants
There's a first time for everything
I got jumped in an alleyway
I was drunk as shit
when I stumbled out of the bar
They said give me your money
I said fuck you
They said, no, fuck you
I said Yeah, fuck me
They fucked me
In the ass
It really hurt
But I didn't cry
Because I'm a man
With a cock in my ass
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4. |
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My bowels keep clogging up
Way too much Chinese food
Dogs and cats and maybe some ferrets
Any sort of pet, really
It really obstructs my asshole
It needs to be removed ASAP
I don't have any way to do it
Except for a corkscrew
I don't even know why I have one
I don't even drink wine
That shit tastes like balls
and I hate balls
I stick it in and turn it
and the stinky river flows
Instant relief from my colon
Ten minutes later it's clogged again
I do this for eight hours straight
and my asshole starts to bleed
But I don't care
I need to clear it
The brown river is now red
and I still cant fart correctly
Finally I got the big chunk
It was a tumor
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Equestrian Butt Pummel Tobyhanna, Pennsylvania
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